Assertiveness Is The Key

Too many of us 1. _ to 2. _ our needs because we say no rather than yes, yes when we should say no. William Glasser, American psychiatrist

What would you do in the following situation? Someone 3. _ the queue right in front of you. You: a) do not say anything, it is not a very long queue; b) make loud comments so everyone can hear; c) ask the person to join the end of the queue. Most of us would probably choose either a) or b). Very few of us would react as described in option c). And that is exactly what assertiveness is all about. Assertiveness is the ability to express your feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs directly, openly and honestly, and in an 4. _ way, without 5. _ the personal rights of others. The road to assertiveness is long, but once you are on it, success is 6. _. How do you feel and react to your own and other people’s personal 7. ___? How do you deal with criticism? Passive types tend not to defend their personal boundaries and allow others to dominate them and the world around them.

Aggressive types, without thinking twice, will take up the 8. _ and invade other people’s boundaries, using their ends to justify their 9. _. An assertive character is that golden middle we all aim towards – fearlessly speaking our mind while all the time respecting other people’s boundaries. There are many classic examples of assertive behaviour in history. Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King were both leaders of the 10. _, and both chose the path of non-violent resistance. Their 11. _ to non-violence, which implies assertive rather than aggressive behaviour, is what made them great leaders. Eventually, they both succeeded in making important reforms 12. ___, even if only to a certain degree. They were able to make changes happen through assertion, and so are you.

10 assertive rights… 1. I have the right to be treated with respect.; 2. I have the right to have my own feelings, opinions and goals and to express them freely.; 3. I have the right to change my mind. Changing my mind is normal, healthy, and 13. _ to self-growth.; 4. I have the right to make mistakes. To make a mistake is part of the human condition; 5. I don’t always have to offer a reason or excuse to justify my behaviour.; 6. I have the right to be illogical in making decisions, as logic cannot predict what will happen in every situation. 7. I have the right to say, ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t understand’.; 8. I have the right to say, ‘I don’t care’.; 9. I have the right not to expect approval from others for everything I do. It is inevitable that others will be hurt or 14. _ by my behaviour at 15. ___; 10. I have the right to get what I paid for.

… and five obligations of every individual 1. I have the obligation to accept that I have the same rights as everyone else.; 2. I have the obligation to treat others with respect.; 3. I have the obligation to choose my own behaviour regardless of what emotional or other 16. _ others may have upon me.; 4. I have the obligation to be responsible for my mistakes. 5. I have the obligation to be responsible for my own psychological well-being and happiness. I should feel concern and 17. _ and good will towards others, but I should not let others manipulate my thoughts and feelings and place the 18. ___ for their problems on me.